Saturday, March 15, 2008

Attractiveness Scales

Thanks to Long or Short Capital, we can graph, first for man-to-woman relationships...

And woman-to-man...

What's great about these charts is that they allow for some good data plotting. For example, using {x,y} notation, and assuming each axis as displayed goes to a count of 10, one might have Ashley/Kristen at {8,0.5} for example. I believe this is part of my enlightened view of women, which is multi-dimensional (where "multi" is two).

Of course, the same applies to men, so Spitzer might be a {5,7}? (please note that the attractiveness axes are inverted between the 2 charts) Of course, women are more complex than men, so perhaps the w2m chart should be 3-dimensional, where the y-axis represents wealth, in which case Spitzer is a {5,7,9}, which of course, isn't so bad. Ladies let me know.

Of course, each of us has a utility curve, but given that, marriage becomes a simple problem of optimization - finding the person who gives you maximum utility, to whom you provide the same. Fuck eHarmony.

In the interest of compiling data, please feel free to add people and their coordinates in the comments. Also, realize this is now going to be part of my description of everyone, so familiarize yourself with these charts before I see you again.

Saturday, March 1, 2008

What leap year?

So what if the market was down size (almost 3%) yesterday?

From my new favorite finance-snark blog, Long or Short Capital - a rough draft from Bernanke's speechwriter.

Friday, February 29th, doesn’t count. That’s right. Simply didn’t happen. It was the leap day of a leap year, an anomaly, and we have the ability at the Fed to strike an anomalous day from existing. We plan to utilize this power that we have at our discretion, and by open market actions, remove the existence of February 29th from the record books.

If we let Friday exist, it will distort comparisons with prior years and also it meant that markets went down a lot. And to that I say, not on my watch, sir, not on my watch. So expect all your portfolios and investments to be reset to their close of business Thursday values very soon. And remember, who loves you? I do. Thank you.